Blog Fright

Remember that time you had to go up on stage dressed as a pumpkin, in kindergarten, and recite a poem to all present? Or in school, where you had unwittingly enrolled for a drama workshop and then been on stage to deliver a few lines?

Maybe you are one of those lucky few to whom, being on stage is in their blood, you get into your natural roaring spirit there, yada yada yada. Good for you. For most people, facing an audience is a daunting prospect.

It may be an audience of 15 willing-to-applaud, cheery parents, or 150 critical drama enthusiasts. It might even be an audience of 150 people who have just browsed through your very first blog entry.

When I saw the number of people hitting my blog steadily notch up, I won’t lie – I got pretty scared. This is the first time I’m letting any writing of mine out to the public (save a few essays for the school magazine) and just knowing that, yes, people are reading my blog – that made me more nervous than you can imagine.

Weird? I mean, I did know I would be writing a blog for people to read. That was the point of writing a blog, and not a secret diary (also, that I thought diaries too risky since my inquisitive 12 year old baby sister tries to read them). This fear was completely irrational. Why be afraid of your audience when you have voluntarily signed up for one?

Then it struck me – I’m worried about what people think. I had reread my blog atleast 5 times before posting it, and I kept glancing through it once I had posted it. I kept picking out tiny mistakes, places I could’ve written better. And to no avail – it’s not like I’m going to change the entry.

Is that one of the biggest reasons we aren’t able to perform at our peak, every time we attempt a task? I firmly think that there isn’t that much a difference in capabilities between the kid who comes 1^st and the kid who places 20^th. What probably just happened, was that the 20^th kid didn’t put in the requisite amount of effort – if I study all day, everybody will think I’m a nerd. Let’s watch some tv instead, there’s an interesting football match tonight – or that on the day of the exam, his nerves caught up with him – will I do okay? What if that particular question is asked? What will mom say once I get a C-? – and the test is already half ruined for him.

Is that it? Can we conquer our fears and then aim for the best? Is what other people think really that important? Could I have rolled out those chappatis the other day if I hadn’t been constantly fretting about how everybody would think they looked like triangles more than circles? Could I have written a better exam, without worrying about what my friends and parents would say about the marks I scored? Could I have bought the dress that I actually wanted to and not the one I actually did, without thinking about how other people would think it too passé? Could I have ignored the fact that 150 odd people are judging my blog entry and just written the next one faster?

Something to muse upon.

PS. I did fulfil the musing part of my blog. Amusing? Do I need to fulfil that too?

Oh, what the heck. Everybody could do with a few chuckles.

So here goes – What do you call a travelling nun?

A Roamin’ Catholic. :D

A little lame, but you still laughed, didn’t you, nice person?

So long.